Thoughts

My own personal and moderate views on the different styles and types of relationships between people of different ages, social classes, race and gender tends to boil down to one simple fact. Who your out to impress. We vain human creatures are always out to impress someone. Whether it be your family, a friend, that girl you've always liked, or even yourself, the way your goal of ultimatley impressing someone drastically affects your behaviour in the world. For example in the vast territory of work and business, I find myself being a reserved and polite work driven individual. No nonsense when it comes to me. But I only demonstrate this facade, this distorted truth in the eyes of my co workers so as to not show my true self in the workplace. Because I may be bound to fail. And who wants their personality and self judged by people.Becoming labeled as horribly inefficient. I certainly don't.

 By dettaching yourself from the outcome, by not comromising your personal beliefs and true thoughts, the probable sting of failure and rejection tends to not feel very personal. And why do I do this? becasue I'm so terrified of these people thinking me inefficient. Even if it is true, even if I am somehow painfully unsuited for the likes of blue collar work, I can't help but feel rejected. I dunno, maybe it's my own lack of confidence, or believeing I'm something I'm not. Either way, all humans carry around this unnecessary bullshit. It might not be in your professional life, it might be your insecure self when dealing with relationships. Or maybe your family life. Things get messy when one's esteem and loved ones tend to get dragged into the mix. Everyone has doubts. Doubts leads to the paralysis of action. Doubt is fear. And the fear arises from the unknown. The unknown, grey area of not knowing what people think of you, or worse yet, failing in the eyes of the person your trying to impress. But then the logical and simplistic question arises, one that just occured to me as I type these words: By trying to impress these different people, even trying to prove something to yourself, the biggest person your failing, is you.